


Confession

by Starofwinter



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Child Death, GFY, Gen, Original Character Death(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-20 01:38:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7385740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starofwinter/pseuds/Starofwinter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>War is ugly, and there are some weights that are too great to bear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confession

Rex sat down next to Jesse, offering him the bottle.  It probably wasn’t the best idea, but hells, he knew it wouldn’t make all of this any worse.  “You wanna talk about it?” he asked, looking out over the fields.  

“No, not really, but… hells, I need to tell somebody.  I’ve been holding onto this too long.”  Jesse’s voice is distant and barely audible, and he shakes his head.  “It was-  Hells, I can’t even remember the name of the kriffing planet.  One of those where we couldn’t evacuate all the civilians in time.  You know what I mean.”  Gold eyes search Rex’s, and he sighs heavily.  “Anyway, Seps are coming, and they’ve got bombs falling, clankers everywhere, and I hear this little girl, right?  She’s screaming for her parents, she’s already covered in blood, and I know she’s gonna get herself shot.  So I grab her, and I can hear that sound - you remember what it sounded like when there was a cannon round coming in?”

Rex nods.  He remembers that sound too well - he hears it in his dreams some nights, and it makes him feel sick for hours as he stares at the ceiling overhead.  “Yeah, I remember.”

“I hear that, and I know I don’t have a second to find cover.  And I look over, and all I’ve got is a fucking hole in a hill.  Might’ve been a grave, maybe it was a foxhole, hells if I know.  I just grab her and I run.  By the time we get in there, the rounds are already falling, the ground’s shaking, and she’s still holding onto me and crying.  I don’t know what happened next, kriffing clankers got a lucky shot, but the whole thing comes down on our heads.  Don’t know how long I was out, but I woke up, and she’s laying there next to me, and she’s-  I knew it was bad.  You see enough of what we did, see enough fuckin’ death, you know when it’s bad, yeah?  It was bad.  I got her in my lap and started trying to wake her up.  But she opened her eyes and started crying.  Took me damn near forever to get her calmed down enough to tell me her name.  Chrys - said it meant golden flower - she couldn’t get over it when I told her I had a brother with that name.  I was trying to check her over, see if there was anything I could do, but… shit, wasn’t a damn thing I could do to fix it, not with the supplies I had.  I knew you’d come for us, never left a man behind if you could help it, but when was that gonna be?”  Jesse scrubs a hand over his face.  “Who kriffing knew if there was anybody left?”

Rex is still searching his memory for the mission, but he’s drawing a blank.  There were too many missions like the one Jesse is talking about, and they all blur together.  “Always came for you,” he says softly, and the small, miserable nod he receives in return breaks his heart.

“Know you did, sir.  ‘s a reason Torrent loved you.”  Jesse gives him a shaky smile.  “You had bigger problems then, come to find out, but… all I knew was that I was trapped under three meters of rock with a kid bleeding out in my arms.  So I do what I can, I get her comfortable as I can, I use up all my painkillers - I don’t need ‘em, and hells, I’m not letting her suffer any more.  So we talk, and she tells me all about her family, and I know they’re gone, but I tell her she’s gonna find them real soon, what else could I tell her?  So I keep her talking, and we talk about my brothers, I tell her a few stories about ‘em, but I know she’s not gonna last long.  And sure enough, she starts getting tired, and she’s pale and  _ I know _ .  I just fuckin’ know.”  

A soft sob breaks from his lips and he leans into Rex’s hand on his shoulder.  “I know what’s coming, and I can’t do a fucking thing to stop it.  And it’s worse, she’s not a brother, she’s not a Jedi, she wasn’t supposed to fuckin’ be there.  Just a fucking kid.  So she asks me if I’ll sing her a song, like her mom did when she was sleepy.  I don’t know any damn bedtime songs, but I start singing anyway, one of the remembrance songs.  Fitting, right?   I sing that, and by the time I was done, she’s just-  she’s gone.  Just a kid, six years old.  I didn’t let go of her till they found us, five hours later.  I buried her there myself, couldn’t just leave her, and anyway, all the civilians were either dead or gone, and-  you know, I dream about her sometimes.  About her being happy and alive and just-”  Jesse shatters then, and Rex wraps his arms around him, a steady rock for him to break against.  He rubs a comforting hand over his back, letting him cry himself out on his shoulder.  It isn’t the first time he’s done this for a brother, and he doubts it will be the last.  Jesse’s confession is a heavy weight on him, but it’s one he’ll gladly bear, especially if it means his brother won’t have to.  

“‘s alright, vod, I’ve got you.  I’ve got you.”  Rex bows his head, closing his eyes to hold him close, “I’ve got you.”

It takes a while for Jesse to finally pull away, and he scrubs a hand over his face again, roughly wiping away the tears there.  “You’re the only one I’ve told.  Didn’t even tell Kix.  He has enough of his own shit, never wanted to add that to it.”

Rex gives him a reassuring nod.  “It’s safe with me, vod.  You tell him on your own time, or don’t.  You need to get anything else off your chest, you come talk to me, alright?”  He’s strong enough to take it.

“Yessir.”  Jesse sits back, taking the bottle of booze finally.  He takes a long pull off it before handing it over to Rex.  “Thank you, sir.”

  
“Anytime, vod.”  He smiles, and they settle in to watch the sunset together.


End file.
